Spring 2012: My 2nd Semester at Wartburg Seminary

Now that I am two weeks into the Spring Semester I want to share a bit about my classes and schedule in general this semester. It is going to be a very busy semester, and yet I am so excited about the possibilities.

My classes include:

• From Text to Sermon
• Pauline Letters & Mission (Lecture and Small Group)
• Systematic Theology
• MA Colloquium II (primarily on research — prep for writing our MA research paper; great discussions are a bonus)
• Diaconal Ministry: Formation for Ministry
• Reformation History
• Gender, Power, & Leadership (4 week module course on Monday afternoons)

I knew going into the semester, that I would almost certainly love my Diaconal Ministry and Gender, Power, & Leadership courses (and I do); however, I have to admit I am a bit surprised at how much I love the rest of the classes too. I was a bit intimidated by the thought of Systematic Theology (at 7:30 a.m. no less!), but I am LOVING the reading and finding the class discussions very interesting. Next week is the first time we meet in small groups (in part, to evaluate our first papers, gulp!), so we’ll see how that goes as well. Now if there were enough hours in the days to really read and dig into all the books recommended (not just the required ones) for these classes, that would be awesome!

Unless you happen to be a classmate (or Wartburg grad?), you may not think that this is a light load, but it is (10 graduate school credits), and I did it on purpose. In part, as someone living with auto-immune disease, I needed to give myself the time and flexibility to respond to the cues my body gives me (like chronic muscle pain, exhaustion and more recently chronic headaches) to slow down or do (time-consuming but effective) alternative therapies. In a way the fact that I live with chronic illness gives me a valid reason for simply balancing my life. The times I go into a “flare” condition are likely the times any individual should slow down and do some good self care. I just have the blessing of having no doubts about it, and generally no choice in the matter! So, in order to still put everything I can into my academic work (which I LOVE), and take care of myself and my family, I decided cut back on classes just a bit this semester.

The decision to cut back a few credit hours was affirmed when I needed to start working the five Work Study hours I am allowed. I am still grateful I did not work them last semester as settling in as a family along with our first semester of seminary classes was challenging enough; however, this semester it simply was not an economic option not to work them. I am trying to keep an open mind and heart as I am working at the St. Mark’s Community Center in downtown Dubuque with the before and after school programs at one of the “downtown” schools. This morning I had several bright smiling elementary students teaching me how to play new games, and quite enjoyed it. I am sure, as usual, I will be blessed beyond my expectations.

It may not happen consistently until I finish my module class, and can devote a bit of time on Monday afternoons, but I do hope to engage this blog more with what I am reading and learning. I imagine that there will be many things to share from my Diaconal Ministry class, and I have already started keeping track of what I call “Diaconal Ministry” sightings in my other classes (servant ministry and the theology behind it is practically everywhere when I start looking!).

If there is anything you would like to hear about, especially those of you following along from “back home,” please let me know!

Love and belief ~

Thankful at this very moment

I am way overdue for posting a thankful post … if you follow me on Twitter, I hope you picked up on my bursting heart at times this week — so much gratitude at being in this place and time — gratitude and Praise to God in this life and journey we are on. Thankful to be leading a significant faithful life with others here in the Wartburg community and beyond!

So here is my top ten list this afternoon:

1. That my ipad allows me to carry and access all four Bible translations I need for my Pauline Letters class (and many more) without actually lugging around the physical books or planning ahead for when I need them.
2. That my husband is truly walking with me on this journey. You can read his blog here: Leaving Myself Behind
3. For the many caring and simply brilliant professors here at Wartburg and throughout our ELCA seminaries (I had the privilege of hearing others at my Jterm event in Gettysburg)
4. That the Dubuque YMCA is holding a daddy-daughter dance tonight, so many girls can have a “date” with a significant guy in their life! (My 6-year-old is so excited to dress up and go out with Daddy tonight … well OK, she is even more excited about her first sleep over (happening after the dance) but it’s still sweet … and I might even get a little time to hang out with some of the other moms while the dads and girls are out on the town!
5. Our wonderful neighbors here! With both of us being students it gets a little crazy at times and it is so reassuring to know that they “have our backs” so to speak … of course learning to ask and accept is still a learning process. In case anyone wonders, we always receive more than we give even when we manage to be the ones making a meal or something for another family!
6. That Nessa can read! Every time I see her pick up a big and get comfortable my heart sings. She still loves it when we read to her too, but hey even I enjoy being read to once in awhile!
7. That before this crazy semester ends my teenager will confirm her faith at Good Shepherd Lutheran in La Crosse, WI! I wanted it to be Megan’s decision if she continued there after we left or went elsewhere. Now I have to admit that while an event that falls right before our finals here is not exactly convenient, I don’t care, my heart sings and I give God praise — in this all glory goes to God! (and to the wonderful pastors and staff at Good Shepherd that minister to Megan at this time!)
8. My classmates — from deep theological discussions to crying on your shoulders, I can’t imagine a better group to be here with!
9. That I am slowly figuring out what foods are triggering my chronic pain auto-immune response and how to best deal with it…having more good days than challenging days is such a gift!
10. Our families! From a place to call home away from home when we are back in the La Crosse area to care packages that truly help us make it through to the end of the month, our families rock!

What blessings found you today? What are you thankful for?

And, as always, how can I pray for you today?

Love and belief~

DMFE Response 6: future plans

What are your plans — related both to academics and to candidacy — as you progress toward consecration?

I am currently about to start my second semester in the Master of Arts in Diaconal Ministry program at Wartburg Seminary. I plan to extend this two-and-a-half year program out over three years, and additionally include a year-long chaplain residency or other internship experience so that I will graduate in May of 2015 (at the same time as my husband, currently an MDiv student at Wartburg). In addition to meeting the requirements for my degree program, I plan to take classes that support my speciality in grief and loss.

I am planning to do a unit of Clinical Pastoral Education this summer at Gundersen Lutheran in La Crosse, WI, and recognize that that experience will be part of my discernment process in what additional field work I do as I prepare for specialized ministry within the Diaconal Ministry roster. Discernment within and after the CPE experience as well as additional conversations with church leadership will help me decide on a chaplain residency or another type of internship experience in addition to specific Diaconal Ministry field work requirements.

As I continue to prepare for candidacy and beyond I plan to begin creating a ministry portfolio containing items describing and reflecting the my ministry work. I will share items from that portfolio as I talk to those involved in my candidacy process as well as those I may be seeking to work with or for after approval.

**Disclaimer? — please remember that I am sharing these as first response answers to questions to my Diaconal Ministry Formation Event and not as polished, researched essays. Although I welcome responses, please do keep this in mind when you respond (as well as the fact that my current schedule limits how often I can reply to comments) **

DMFE Response 5: Spiritual Disciplines

What are some (at least three) spiritual disciplines, which seem particularly well suited to support you in your ministry and life of faith?

The time we spent focussing on spiritual practices while at the DMFE did not introduce me to any new specific spiritual practices or disciplines; however, it did give me a greater understanding of their importance and history within Christianity. The metaphor of being a reservoir that needs to be full at all times because we cannot give what we do not have helped to underline this importance to me at a time when I had been struggling to maintain my commitment to practicing spiritual disciplines. I also appreciated using another “spiritual type” test to assist in recognizing disciplines that may feel more or less comfortable.

At this point I see a commitment to a few core practices being essential while also leaving time each week to try additional spiritual disciplines. The practice that I start and end my day with is a combination of centering prayer and Ignatius’ Examen prayer as I begin with thanksgiving and intercessory prayer as well as looking back over the last several hours or day and praying through that memory, and then I simply take myself to a sacred space and continue in centered prayer. I also enjoy doing a similar contemplative prayer while moving (generally a “prayer walk”) in the middle of the day. As a result of the appreciation I have gained both for monastic ritual and for setting a rule for one’s life, I will be implementing a personal rule that includes these contemplative prayer times as well as other practices and attitudes that I am still discerning.

In addition to the specific prayer disciplines, I see the disciplines of spiritual journaling and of slowing down and listening to be useful to me in both my ministry and my faith. I have journaled inconsistently in the past, and look forward to creating a disciplined way of incorporating journaling into my faith life. And while the practice of slowing down to notice and listen isn’t entirely new to me, I have not practiced it regularly in the past. In addition to practicing listening as a part of ministry, I plan to implement it simply as a regular practice both in solitary and within my family. I also plan to continue lectio divina or dwelling in the word on a regular, although not daily, basis. I also now realize how important spiritual discipline mentors are, and I will be seeking them out.

**Disclaimer? — please remember that I am sharing these as first response answers to questions to my Diaconal Ministry Formation Event and not as polished, researched essays. Although I welcome responses, please do keep this in mind when you respond (as well as the fact that my current schedule limits how often I can reply to comments) **

DMFE Response: Personal Formation Journey

Formation Journey Continues

I cannot consider a reflective paper on the Diaconal Ministry Formation event compleat without including something on personal formation, and my reflection on this journey, past, present, and future. While the theology and historical background are an essential part of my formation, they are only a part. The DMFE as a whole (worship experiences, small group discussions, spiritual practices, lectures, time in community, and developing relationships) also helped me to uncover the layers of weights that I need to either leave behind or transform along this formation journey.

I am just beginning to be able to articulate that my call to ministry is inseparable from my life experiences. I have resisted connecting my daughter’s death to my call to ministry and yet if I had not called out in agony asking why I was here when she is not, if I had not felt totally abandoned and forsaken, and if I had not felt truly dark and broken and utterly “of this world” I would never found the sacred silence that beckoned me out of the shadows and into the love of Christ as demonstrated in God’s clear love for this world in all its brokenness. I may never have been able to recognize that sometimes we do the things we do not because we really want to, but because, through the strength of Christ and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we can.

Additionally I realize that to truly live out this call I need to get myself out of the way (as we were reminded during the DMFE, it is not about us). In part this means that rather than holding on tightly to my remaining griefs, I must embrace them and that, as needed, let them go. This has been most challenging as I realize that some of the deepest grief I still hold on to are exactly where loss and theology meet. I am not sure I can even articulate this fully yet, but not only did my “Sunday School” faith not sustain me through my losses, the church body I belonged to at the time was not able to minister to me appropriately though that time. Every response I received was framed in terms of black and white with concern only to the next life with no ministry offered for our life on earth. I do not believe God abandons us in the present with merely a promise of future reconciliation. Rather, what Christ did on the Cross is for all eternity (our time and the next life). I continue to take this to God in prayer daily as to fully partner in reconciling ministry I must let go of my personal “chip on my shoulder” that has seemed to accompany my background of former identity with a earthly church with this understanding and seeming lack of diaconal ministry.

Another very important part of my formation throughout the event is my understanding of the mutual accountability relationship created by being a rostered and called leader within the ELCA. Prior to attending DMFE I knew that the ministry I was called to was diaconal ministry and was thankful to have a degree and approval process to be sure that I was trained well for the ministry I would do. However, I was not entirely sure it was necessary to be a rostered and called leader in order to do that ministry. I even said to others that if I could do the ministry without being rostered, I would be OK with that (thinking I was emphasizing the importance of the ministry over the importance of a church designated position). I no longer feel that way. I value the importance of mutual accountability implied by consecration, and I feel that the Diaconal Ministry roster in the ELCA is a very important roster that is vital for the ELCA to fulfill its mission. I am also grateful for those that forged this path creating a very specific and well-defined roster, including the Six Marks of a Diaconal Minister.

And finally attending the DMFE brings me an appreciation for the candidacy process. It was sobering to be reminded that the minute we were granted entrance we became a part of caring for the baptized of the church. I now have a better understanding of the importance of the approval process, and what it means to be a rostered leader in the ELCA.

**Disclaimer? — please remember that I am sharing these as first response answers to questions to my Diaconal Ministry Formation Event and not as polished, researched essays. Although I welcome responses, please do keep this in mind when you respond (as well as the fact that my current schedule limits how often I can reply to comments) **

Additional links some may be interested in (I try not to assume readers know my background and yet cannot address this myself in my posts):

ELCA Candidacy Process

History of Diaconal Ministry Community (and from here a link to Together for Ministry (PDF file)

Rostered Leadership (ELCA)

DMFE Paper Response 4: Diaconal Ministry and Theology of the Cross, Vocation, and the Two Realms

How does diaconal ministry relate to two of the following important confessional concepts: the theology of the cross; vocation; or the two realms?

The theology of the cross is the foundation of justification by grace through faith, and if we want to understand God we have to start where God is most fully revealed–the cross. Since diaconal ministry is a ministry that embodies the cross of Christ it is crucial that we are able to relate it to and articulate the theology of the cross, including contrasting it to what we refer to as the theology of glory. Ephesians chapter two reminds us that we do not DO anything to make this relationship come into being: “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God—not the result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life.” (Ephesians 2.8-10 NRSV). Faiths origins are worked into us. God decided this on the cross and what has been termed ‘decision theology’ is not a theology of the cross, but rather part of what we call a theology of glory.

We embrace the cross and its paradox of being the center of God’s power, wisdom and glory, and yet at the same time being the height of human weakness, foolishness and shame. It is on the cross that God embraces powerlessness and those on the absolute margins of society. Our call as diaconal ministers is totally entwined with the theology of the cross in part because we are called to minister to the marginalized.

The cross is the epitome of of the enactment of divine live as God seeks to deconstruct human wisdom and all ideas of what God is and isn’t about are tipped upside down via the cross. Theology of the cross informs our ministry in three particular ways: first it gives us the proper evaluative point of view and work out pattern for ministry, second we minister as servants of Christ and to God’s agenda for others and not others’ agenda for others (we are called to do more than just help people), and third we are called to a ministry of love as we cannot embody the cross without love. To love is to make the cross real to another and embody God’s love as shown in Christ on the cross (Romans 5.6-8; Galatians 2.20; 1 Corinthians 12.31-13.13) . We are reminded that God so loved the world and God is sending the people God loves to us!

As explained when discussing the Biblical background for diaconal ministry Jesus came to serve (diakonia), and as a ministry that embodies the cross of Christ we also come to serve. Our call is to serve from Word and Sacrament (as well as to Word and Service). Every time we celebrate the eucharist we are celebrating diakonia, and as we carry out our call to diaconal service we are enacting eucharist. Our call to enact Jesus’ service is embodied in the Eucharist and now embodied in our service.

When thinking specifically about vocation I turn to the story of separating the sheep from the goats (Matthew 25.31-46) and am reminded that we find Christ in the hungry person (not in the sheep), and that the “sheep” do not feed the hungry and perform other service ministries in order to find Christ, but rather they just do it. The sheep in the story as equally as surprised as the goats are. The people we serve in our ministries cannot become simply vehicles for doing our “religious thing” but must be an end in itself. In order to keep this perspective I return again to finding Christ in surprising places on the margins of our world, and look through the lens of Christ’s love for each person as demonstrated in Christ’s death on the cross. When I look at an individual as someone Christ died for I am able to let the Spirit guide me in that love and in my ministry.

Concerning the two realms or kingdoms I relate diaconal ministry to this concept because it teaches us that God’s work is not confined to church. God is at work in the world. The two realms are not defined as church and world, but rather two modes of governance: gospel or unconditional love and promise) and compulsion or force (conditional). While force and compulsion have no place in the Gospel, God is also at work in places where governance needs to be exercised in other ways.

**Disclaimer? — please remember that I am sharing these as first response answers to questions to my Diaconal Ministry Formation Event and not as polished, researched essays. Although I welcome responses, please do keep this in mind when you respond (as well as the fact that my current schedule limits how often I can reply to comments) **

Additional links some may be interested in (I try not to assume readers know my background and yet cannot address this myself in my posts):

Luther’s Doctrine of the Two Kingdoms (Realms)

What do Lutherans Believe?

DMFE Paper Response 3: Diaconal Ministry in Relation to Theology of the Trinity and the Incarnation

How does diaconal ministry relate to such important theological concepts as the Trinity and the Incarnation?

The Trinity as we express confessionally as God the Father, the Son incarnate in Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit are the very foundation of any ministry, and I think especially of diaconal ministry. We are called to the boundaries of church and the world, and to minister with our perspective always on that boundary and those living on the edges or marginalized in our world. This call means that we minister neither fully within the church nor fully outside of the church. These are the same places we continually find God.

We don’t create the communities within we minister, rather God creates the community, and our call is to nurture and give expression to that community, and to extend community into the world. Yet, the world’s needs, those needs we find throughout our community of context, are not our prime motivation for ministry. Rather diaconal ministry addresses the hurts and needs of a broken world through the divine love manifested on the cross. As Diaconal Ministers we must discern, integrate and articulate how, within a particular context, our call embodies the cross of Christ. Diaconal ministry as an embodied reality of the cross of Christ must also remember that the Cross of Christ is about Christ’s whole life brought to the cross, and not only what happened on the cross. The particular life that Jesus lived is important and it can be dangerous to assume that others are remembering this life of Jesus that brought him to the cross. We need to tell the stories of Jesus, and not only the abstract theology. These stories of Jesus include Jesus going out into the community, and can be of particular use within our diaconal ministry contexts.

I also think it is very important to remember that Diaconal Ministry is a call to ministry of word and service (not just to service). A ministry of the word includes a ministry of Jesus Christ incarnate; John 1. 14 says “And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son, full of grace and truth.” (NRSV) As ministers we must be prepared to share the Word of God as we find it expressed in and by Jesus Christ incarnate, the Word of God as proclamation of God’s message to us (the living word), and the written Word of God as found in holy scripture.

Looking at the Pauline Epistles the foundation for Diaconal Ministry are found not in Paul’s linguistics, but in Paul’s Pneumatology. The Holy Spirit is at work in all Christians, and is at work in each person, including diaconal ministers, the same way the Holy Spirit worked through the Apostle Paul (and other scripture writers). This also means that there is no hierarchy in who is doing the work of the Spirit. Having no hierarchy between rosters holds us accountable for our ministry.

The pattern for ministry is found in Paul’s Christology. Looking at what Jesus had done forms and shapes our ministry. As we intentionally engage in cruciform leadership we remember that above all Christ acted in faithful obedience to accomplish righteousness (right relationships), redemption (liberation), and reconciliation (end of enmity). We are ministers of God’s reconciliation. This cruciform leadership must always be formed by the cross and in the form of the cross.

The Holy Spirit gives us gifts, grace gifts, for ministry in order to empower us to bring the reality of the Body of Christ into the world. Romans 12.6 tells us “We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith.” While the Holy Spirit, in helping us discern our gifts, can harness our human talents as gifts these are not synonymous. Rather our gifts for ministry are given to us (we do not create them) to build the body of Christ and take Christ out into the dark and messy world. As diaconal ministers we embrace that role and acknowledge that our call to word and service is going to be more intentionally messy.

I am reminded that these gifts of grace are not given for our sake, but to help the body of Christ function. Also that justification by grace includes the gifts of the spirit for ministry, and that faith is that which the Holy Spirit produces through Christ crucified. It is through the cross of Christ that we are transferred from sin’s dominion to Christ’s dominion, and that my cruciform leadership began at my baptism. Through this message of Christ crucified the Spirit forms faith in us. I am reconciled to God and others in order to be given a ministry of reconciliation. I am no longer in charge of my life; Christ is in charge.

In addition to being gifted by the spirit we are fruited by the spirit:

By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, competing against one another, envying one another.
Galatians 5.22-26 (NRSV)

While the gifts of the spirit are intended for this age only in order to build up the body of Christ and its mission, the fruit of the spirit is eternal and meant for both this age and the next. Every Christian receives this fruit of the spirit as it is holistic and inclusively worked by the spirit in each Christian.

Remembering that I am ministering as part of the larger body of Christ and being led by the Spirit makes me bold as I minister on the edges of community and church and address the needs of the broken and hurting world. It especially makes me bold when I think of my ministry to those carrying grief and broken with the weight of loss in this world. There is not a cure in this world, and yet there is healing.

**Disclaimer? — please remember that I am sharing these as first response answers to questions to my Diaconal Ministry Formation Event and not as polished, researched essays. Although I welcome responses, please do keep this in mind when you respond (as well as the fact that my current schedule limits how often I can reply to comments) **